1. There are only a select few people that will wake up, look outside and see a rain/snow mix, notice that the high for the day is in the low 40’s, and say audibly to themselves, “My god, it is a perfect day out there.”
2. They are right, unless they mean for duck hunting. Those guys are just crazy. (see #1)
3. You can’t warm your hands with a cigarette lighter. Yes it is a flame. Yes, in theory, it should produce heat. No it will not warm your fingers. It will, however, turn your skin black.
4. No matter how much warmer the water is than the air temperature, it will not warm you hands.
5. It doesn’t work the second time either. (see #4)
6. You can tell yourself you are just resting the water and letting the fish return, but if you are in your jeep with the heater on, smoking a cigarette and listening to sports talk radio, you are warming up, period.
7. Time spent warming up is time not spent fishing. (see#6)
8. I know I shouldn’t anthropomorphize. Yes the fish do hate you. Yes that is why they pick this weather to feed most actively. Yes they do laugh when your frozen hands can’t tie on a new fly. Yes they also laugh when you are too cold and wet to effectively set the hook.
9. Perversely, the clouds clearing to let in sun light can actually make you colder. Yes it is a flame. Yes, in theory, it should produce heat. (see #3)
10. There is nothing wrong with wearing long underwear, jeans and then hip waders all at once. Unless you are heading into the diner for breakfast after a few hours of fishing. They frown on that. Apparently, no shirt, no shoes or TOO MANY PANTS… no service.
11. Smartphones are almost always not waterproof. No matter how much they cost.
12. Falling in the river is bad. (see # 3, 4, 5, and 11)
13. Sometimes warming up in your jeep isn’t a terrible idea. (see#12)
14. If you have been cold enough, warming up hurts worse than getting cold did.
15. Man you can catch a lot of fish and get some beautiful time on empty water on a drizzly day late in the fall.